Stereotypes Stay at Home Dads Face (JL)

            A new trend has hit society; women are now full-time providers for the family and men stay at home to take care of children. Fifty years ago this would have been unheard of. However, in society today equality is present everywhere, even in the home.  For example, I am the product of a single father and though he worked, he was also a stay at home dad. He ran his own business and controlled his own hours. But for more traditional home with a mother and a father, the parents have options regarding who can stay home. One parent can earn the income and the other can take care of the domestic issues. There is no problem with men staying home to raise the children, but the majority of society has yet to realize this. According to Gerson, society's gender reinforcement roles pull women into staying home with the children, but not the men. Most believe the older gender assumption that men are supposed to be the bread winners and provide a source of income for their family. The career field shows no slack for men when it comes to their children situation because most are not accustomed to the idea; but are women the only parents that should get maternity leave? Gerson says that involved fathers can be just as nurturing and supportive. But when these men are seen by others nurturing and supporting their kids without their wallets, then they are stigmatized.

            These stay at home fathers are often considered less masculine in the eyes of society. These fathers are perceived usually as lazy, feminine, or not strong enough to support a family. This is not always the case, as some men choose to be stay at home fathers. They also face the obstacle of not living up to the mother role as well as a woman. In "Moms at Work and Dads at Home: Children's Evaluations of Parental Roles,"  Adam, a stay-at-home dad of three, discusses his feelings on being unemployed and having his wife go back to work. He began his interview by saying that “although he 'liked the domestic stuff, cooking and all that,' it was 'not working' that posed such difficulties for him 'as a man.'"  A man can provide for his family in more than one way, but society only sees a male supporting his family in one way: financially. Men who do stay at home and do the "women's work" are not seen as real men. Other men view stay at home dads as the woman's property, they tend to believe that they are not man enough. The study from this journal states that children view a mother staying home more acceptable when compared to the father. The results came from asking 2^nd and 5^th graders how they feel about the situation. The kids also said it was acceptable for both parents to work full time. When even children feel that a mother is more fit to stay at home with the children than a father, it seems men have the whole community against them before they even start.

            The article "It's Almost Like I Have a Job, but I Don't Get Paid" claims when a man becomes a stay at home father it is sometimes not done by choice. A prime example is when 70 men in Canada lost their jobs and their wives had to go to work while they stayed home. Through their stories, it seems the men had a collective feeling of inadequacy and judgment from their friends. This problem would apply to anyone because nobody would want this pressure placed on them. The men felt they were inadequate because of their lack of ability to financially support their families. Stay at home dads are stereotyped by society as failures and therefore less of a man. If you aren't a good of enough man to support your family, the typical response is the assumption that you aren't really considered a man. Men really do feel this pressure from society. My father said he shared similar feelings with being a stay at home father. He is disabled and wasn't able to work, but he was a single parent and is a full time stay at home father now. He said he felt pressure from others, mainly his brothers, for not being able to work and carry his own weight. Despite his injury and the stigma attached to men in the home, he loved being a stay at home father. To this day he feels it was his destiny and always talks about past memories of our childhood. It shouldn't be stigmatized for anyone to stay home with their children.

            Nobody should be hesitant to play a sport or show emotions because of their fear of potential labels. People are being persecuted by their own fear of a negative stereotype. Your gender should not be taken into account for everything you do. We seek equality between genders, but when the change does occur, it seems different and full of judgment from others. If we learn anything it should be to accept change and welcome equality. Once we welcome equality and accept it then our culture will change.